Giving Vs Living

by Brian on


Hello there. Today’s post may seem a bit con­tro­ver­sial so I’ll really love to hear your feedback.

We live in a world today where a lot is said about giv­ing. I mean I grew up in the church and we are always say­ing to give, give, give. If you give you will be blessed. Give and you shall receive!!! I am sure you have heard this lots of times. But my ques­tion to ask you is this.….Is giv­ing everything?

There is a say­ing that says you can give with­out lov­ing, but you can­not love with­out giv­ing!!! What that says is that it is pos­si­ble for you to give some­one some­thing and not really like them e.g. “your idi­otic boss” etc. Put in your per­son in place of “Boss” there. You see it is pos­si­ble for some­one to give and not nec­es­sar­ily be a gen­er­ous person.

In my opin­ion it’s not about how much you give that mat­ters but how you live that mat­ters!!! Peo­ple will remem­ber you more by the way you live than in how much you give!!!

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Let me give you an exam­ple. Let’s say you are work­ing in a Com­pany. You give your life out to that com­pany!!! You’re always work­ing hard and mak­ing sure that every­one fol­lows the rules etc. How­ever, when you are out of the com­pany you are known as a drunkard…You are always in the bar and clubs get­ting high and “hit­ting” on young school girls. What does that say about you? It is true that you are a very good worker in your com­pany and you may even get pro­moted for your work ethic, how­ever what about when you are not in work?

You can bet your bot­tom dol­lar that peo­ple will talk more about the fact of how you live after work than when you are in work! I’ve seen lots of peo­ple in Soci­ety who give a lot and that is com­mend­able but the way in which they live makes their giv­ing go in vain. If you have a child and you give them every­thing they need to have a happy life but the way you live as a father or mother will deter­mine the type of respect you get from your children.

My point I am try­ing to make is this. Giv­ing is a good thing and I highly encour­age it, but more impor­tant than giv­ing, is liv­ing. I’ll repeat that — “More impor­tant than giv­ing, is your liv­ing”. Because peo­ple will not remem­ber you so much for what you give but in how you lived!!!

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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

CAROL JONES August 21, 2009 at 2:06 am

BRIAN,

Greetings from rural Australia.

This is a very insightful post.

Your comparison between Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde is astute. Especially if a reader recognises themselves in that description and it motivates them to make some changes to the way they live.

I wonder how many people fully realise that it’s how we live our daily life that makes the biggest impact on those around us? Many thanks for pointing this out.

Take care,

CAROL

Carol Jones
Director
Interface Pty Ltd
Post Office Box 139
KANDOS NSW 2848 Australia
Tel: +612 63 58 85 11
Fax: +612 63 58 85 10
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Brian August 21, 2009 at 11:20 am

Thanks for the nice words, Carol. I appreciate that you understand what I meant!!!

Mike CJ August 22, 2009 at 12:38 pm

Interesting post, but I think your examples are a little black and white, although I agree with the gist of what you’re saying.

What I have found in the social media / blogging world is that giving really does come back, sometimes manyfold.

Brian August 22, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Hi Mike. Thanks for your comment. I agree that your giving will come back in the blogging world. What I really meant is that if you give lots of money to charity etc that does not necessarily mean you are a generous person. You can be giving for your own recognition etc. The way you live is more important than anything you may give e.g. money. If I am a person who doesn’t have integrity, loyalty etc. but I do good just so I can manipulate people, sooner or later I will be found out to be a fake!!!

Vijay August 25, 2009 at 7:59 am

Hi Brian,
Giving doesnt mean just giving stuff to others. It doesnt have to be materialistic stuff.

It would mean helping others unselfishly. A poor woman/man is hungry, you can share your meal. Or help in any other means like doing service in helping out in the local charity as a volunteer. What you will get back is immense satisfaction in the thought that you were able to help.

Brian August 25, 2009 at 3:02 pm

Hey Vijay, I agree totally with what you said. Let’s not forget though that some may give with the wrong motive e.g. a doctor sees a poor man hungry and he doesn’t want to give the man anything but then he sees one of his patients watching and he decides to give the man money so he won’t look bad in his patient’s sight….That’s what I meant by giving vs living….The way I live will influence the way I give!

Kim Doyal January 31, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Hi Brian,

What really stands out about this post to me is that sometimes I can get a little overwhelmed with giving….and it’s important to remember that the way we live our lives can have a HUGE impact as well!
A smile, opening the door for someone, letting someone in front of you in traffic, etc.
You never know how a simple kind gesture can affect another person!
Thanks-
Kim

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