13 ways to stay stressed

Hi there. I got this arti­cle in my email and just thought I would share it with you all.

Are you wor­ried now about how to stay stressed? You’ll have no trou­ble if you prac­tice the fol­low­ing clin­i­cally proven methods:

NEVER EXERCISE. Exer­cise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

EAT ANYTHING YOU WANT. Hey, if cig­a­rette smoke can’t cleanse your sys­tem, a bal­anced diet isn’t likely to.

GAIN WEIGHT. Work hard at stay­ing at least 25 pounds over your rec­om­mended weight.

TAKE PLENTY OF STIMULANTS. The old stan­dards of caf­feine, nico­tine, sugar, and cola will con­tinue to do the job just fine.

GET RID OF YOUR SOCIAL SUPPORT SYSTEM. Let the few friends who are will­ing to tol­er­ate you know that con­cern your­self with friend­ships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few peo­ple per­sist in try­ing to be your friend, avoid them.

PERSONALIZE ALL CRITICISM. Any­one who crit­i­cizes any aspect of your work, fam­ily, dog, house, or car is mount­ing a per­sonal attack. Don’t take time to lis­ten, be offended, then return the attack!

MALES AND FEMALES ALIKE — BE MACHO. Never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

BECOME A WORKAHOLIC. Put work before every­thing else, and be sure to take work home evenings and week­ends. Keep remind­ing your­self that vaca­tions are for sissies.

DISCARD GOOD TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. Sched­ule in more activ­i­ties every day than you can pos­si­bly get done and then worry about it all when­ever you get a chance.

PROCRASTINATE. Putting things off to the last sec­ond always pro­duces a mar­velous amount of stress.

WORRY ABOUT THINGS YOU CAN’T CONTROL. Worry about the stock mar­ket, earth­quakes, the approach­ing Ice Age, you know, all the big issues.

BECOME NOT ONLY A PERFECTIONIST BUT SET IMPOSSIBLY HIGH STANDARDS.…..and either beat your­self up, or feel guilty, depressed, dis­cour­aged, and/or inad­e­quate when you don’t meet them.

THROW OUT YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR. Stay­ing stressed is no laugh­ing mat­ter, and it shouldn’t be treated as one.

What do you think of this. Talk back to me!!!

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